A few weeks ago, Ashes and I went through Abigail’s baby clothes to separate out the stuff she had outgrown. It reminded me of the first time I got actually excited about having this baby.
I read several things about how father’s experience the excitement of a new baby different than the mothers, because we are more removed from the process. The first ultrasound didn’t do much for me, because it looked like a bean, or a gummy bear. The second ultrasound didn’t do much for me either. Was kind of just like, “yep, that’s definitely a baby and not a bean or a gummy bear.” Ashes was buying baby stuff left and right, and I knew I was supposed to be excited at some point, but it just wasn’t happening.
Then we went clothes shopping. I think. I’m don’t really remember why we went into Target, but it was probably to get one thing for the baby. Looking around at all the cute clothes, cute clothes that some day my baby would be super cute in, it all became very, very real. Everything was so small, there was no way my baby could be that small. But wouldn’t she look so cute in this onesie with an adorable narwhal on it? I bet she would…
She’s too big for that initial clothing line now. I knew, rationally, that would happen someday. But I didn’t expect it to be this soon. I figured around six months or so she’d stop being a newborn and start being a baby. Not three to four months.
Now she’s rolling around on the floor, scooting in different directions. She’s grabbing things and chomping on them. She went wild the first time she got some finely ground oatmeal mush. She likes standing up, with some help. She is soooo eager to figure out this crawling thing and get moving.
At some point, this baby got big. She started controlling her face and her limbs. Soon she’ll be even bigger, and even more like a real person. And one day, she will be a real person, who does real person stuff. When I figure out how I feel about that, I’ll let you know.